Dating: Now or Later?

 Dating: Now or Later?

August 28, 2020 

Coming out of a seven year relationship, I find I’m constantly asking myself when should I start dating? When is it okay to be ready? When will I know that I’m ready? Part of me feels like by asking this question, I’m not ready. But on the other hand, I feel like the validation of this question that I’m seeking is because I DO feel ready. Ready to embrace someone loving me for all that I am and embracing the journey of loving someone for all that they are. But I did start a long-term relationship at 18, marrying at 23, and divorcing by 26, so I never experienced dating as an adult. So I think maybe I have this curiosity of what it’s like. 

But then there’s that thing called “me time”. The time between relationships that you should take to reflect on yourself. Although, this should really be something we practice in and out of a relationship. It’s not until it all comes crashing down that we actually assess ourselves in the situation. Two years before my marriage ended, shit hit the fan. I was forced to face my own demons that I brought into my relationship. But I’m thankful for this shift because  I started learning and forgiving things about myself that I didn’t know I needed. I started loving myself, for all that I was and what I brought to the table. So walking out of my marriage two years later, I knew deep down I deserved better and had to do what was best for me. I loved that man but at the end of the day I had to love me more. 

So dating, now or later? I’m not 100% sure where I stand. I’ve been enjoying ME and this “me time”. Does it get lonely, absolutely. I’ve spent the last seven years in the house with another person and Milo (my dog) certainly doesn’t talk back. So sometimes, it’d be nice to come home to conversation or cuddle all night long. But I’m in no rush. There may be a “bae” or two here or there, but I’m learning to sit in this singleness one day at a time. 

“I hope you embrace the times you need to feel loved as natural, not weak and that you have safe spaces to recieve love without shame, fear, and feeling unworthy” - Rob Hill Sr. 

With love, AW

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