Wanted vs. Needed

 Wanted vs. Needed

September 14, 2020

I was in the shower the other day, smiling, because I feel genuinely happy. Happy about the way different things were making me feel and I thought about it, it feels good to be wanted. To be wanted, desired, and may I even say praised? But not a cocky praise, but a praise for what people can see in you without you having to say anything at all. You feel valued. But then I thought, is it better to be needed? To be a necessity for someone? Honestly, it sounds like such a weird thing to say, “I want to feel needed by someone”, but I guess that idea stems from companionship. Oftentimes in a relationship, one person is good at this and the other at that, there’s a balance. You're a necessity to that person, someone they need around. But I guess it’s one thing to be needed vs. wanted. Wanted feels personal, like a choice that you made. Needed feels like regardless of what you want, you’re in need. 

So it has planted the question, should I rather be wanted or needed? 

What’s the other option outside of the two? Sometimes I’m trying to think about and express to those around me what I desire in my next love interest, but I’m not sure if the things I’m creating a list of are realistic to ask in someone. Then, there’s that gray area of I don’t want to have to tell anyone how to love me, because they’ll just know, they’ll just fit. But of course, that’s not how communication works. The other gray area of telling someone too much of what you want only for them to “conform” to everything they think you want, only to not even be themselves at the end of it. Been there, done that, and have the divorced papers to prove it, lol. While the question still stands, wanted or needed, I have to be honest and say that right now, it feels good to be wanted, I don’t want to be needed. I want to be my only reason, my only responsibility. I am authentically more myself now than I’ve ever been, and to be wanted - I know that I’ve always been worthy of more, I just had to let me shine through a bit more. 

“Being needed can feel good, when it’s healthy. Feeling wanted can be affirming, when it’s mutual” - Rob Hill Sr.

With love, AW

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