Daddy's Girl for Life

 Daddy’s Girl for Life

October 23, 2020

It’s the night after we finally laid you to rest. Something in my heart feels at peace but conflicted at the same time. At peace that now you’re resting where you deserve to be among the many men and women who served our country. You were the Dog Face Soldier. Your resting place was beautiful, we described it as the perfect spot. With a cozy tree for shade, a view of the national monuments, and autumn tree skyline backdrop. I know you’ll enjoy the view. But on the other hand I feel conflicted that now you’re just a part of the masses in the 400,000+ people that were already buried there. Just like you were another victim of cancer. I guess that’s how it feels when you lose someone YOU love, they aren’t just a part of the masses or another statistic, you were MY Dad. 

I embrace many of the lessons you’ve taught me thus far but most days I wish you were here still teaching me. It doesn’t feel right that you weren’t a part of this last year, you were always a significant piece to my life puzzle. However, I realize the many paths that you’re passing has paved for me. I see the foundation and the traditions of family with new meaning. Continuing your legacy. Embracing what’s left of your family because they’re as close to you as I’m going to get. Uncle M looks just like you, I feel closer to you whenever he’s around. I see you in his face, in his storytelling, and just about all the words he says. Sometimes, that’s hard, but I’m holding on a little bit tighter anyway. I’m learning more about you than you probably ever had time to tell me in a lifetime, but I enjoy viewing/hearing about you in someone else’s eyes. 

Most days I wish we had our “last days”. We didn’t get to exchange meaningful words before you left. I watched you for days in a state almost unrecognizable. Sometime at night I’m still waiting for you to appear, on the edge of my bed or maybe even in my dreams, so I can have that one last moment with you. People always say you carry your loved ones with you where you go, but most times I feel like I can’t reach you, like you’re probably not there. I guess I’ve watched too many movies, waiting for this enchanted moment of your reassurance of your presence. However, I’m sure you’re here in your own creative way, nestled in the lessons you’ve taught us along the way, or in the memories of the hilarious things you used to say. Now you're just a short drive down the road, just know I’ll be there real soon. Rest in Honor.

Loving you always Pa <3 

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