Effortless.

 Effortless.

March 17, 2021

As I mentioned in my previous blog, my new favorite podcast is Self Care and Chill with Maui. She is that sister girl you need when you know you ain’t doing right or honestly just need a little bit of clarity. For me she’s been amazing moments of clarity, as I said before, checking off the boxes of the thoughts and questions in my mind. While she’s heavy on self-care and self-love, she does a great job of walking you through how to do this within the world of dating or in a relationship. In the world of dating, even though you’re looking for somebody, your focus is still on you. Being mindful of what you bring to the table, while you're running off the list of what your partner can and cannot bring - are you everything that you need to be?

If you're asking me - I’d say no. I’ve recently set goals for myself that I hope to be attainable within the next two years and part of those goals may not check the existing boxes for someone right now. So I’d rather wait to be on that other side of these goals having something accomplished and my table fully set rather than missing a few things here or there. However, what happens when I set more goals? Do I take more time to complete those things to again not come to the table seemingly empty handed? It’s great to have goals and aspirations to be the best version of myself when I have met someone, but I think that will always be a work in progress. So I’ve made strides to appreciate where I am and be diligent in reaching those goals - but my table is no where near empty. 

I am more than the material things that I’ll have to give. 

My standards do not require someone who has it all together because honestly I’m still figuring all mine out - but I have a standard for someone driven to bring just as much to the table as I am. Outside of the material things , I feel like my list grows in the thought of what I need emotionally from someone. Coming to the table vulnerable is attractive. Attractive because there’s no pride about being honest, no facade they’re trying to portray. While I may be still working on my emotional availability, I’m never afraid to be vulnerable or to have a sensitive conversation. Conversation to me is clarity when it’s honest and intentional. To grow in a safe and secure place is something I think we’d all appreciate. Guards down, hearts open, and actions consistent with the words and the ways of someone of interest. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13 1

With love, AW

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